It’s Not What Went Wrong In Your Relationship but What Went Right


The other night I was getting ready for dinner with mutual friends that my ex and I share. I hadn’t seen them in a while nor have we ever really spoke about the break up, so of course my mind was racing!

I thought what if she asks me, “What went wrong in the relationship? ”

I sat with that for a second and I thought to myself, it’s not what went wrong in my relationship but what went right.

I know that sounds a little crazy but just hear me out: I know that every relationship is different but I felt it important to share my life lesson, in hopes that maybe one person can relate. That this post can empower your broken heart not shatter it.

In one of our previous posts we wrote about “Am I Making The Right Move.” It underlined the importance that you can’t see the bigger picture while you are in it, only when you can turn around and look back at how far you have come, everything starts to make sense.

Sometimes, we have the tendency to look back and only see the good, instead of finding the beauty in the bad.  As we are getting to know each other, I will save the more “personal” stuff that happened in my relationship for later and talk about the bigger picture that connects us all.

Love. Love is what makes the world go ’round and is one of the many things that makes life worth living. When you think you have found your forever and it turns out to be a distant memory, that pain is unbearable.

First, I want to let anyone who is reading this and is dealing with a broken heart know that you are not alone and that the pain you are feeling is an actual chemical reaction happening in your brain. Your mind is trying to “re-wire” your new reality & that lay out takes time and it hurts!

They say it takes about half the time you were together to really start seeing change in your thought process of your heart & mind.  I guess you can say that this blog was a LONG time coming, so let me get to the point.

“Sometimes in relationships, both parties have to take 100 percent of their 50 percent of what went wrong”

What lessons did I find through my broken heart? Well I learned who I wanted to be and who I did not want to be in my next relationship. I found what I wanted in my next partner and what I didn’t want. I realized that I needed to go through the relationship AND the break up to become the person I am today.   If did not go through that life altering pain, I would of never be as strong as I am today. I no longer allow the pain to define who I am but the experience to guide my future. I am thankful for the lessons I learned, so when some does ask “what went wrong”, I can answer “it’s not what went wrong it’s what went right.”


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