It’s Not You It’s Me.
Let’s be honest, no one really likes to admit if they were wrong especially when it comes to love. Sometimes taking ownership in the “downfall” of the relationship can be the hardest part. Like previously discussed in, It’s Not What Went Wrong but What Went Right we talk about how each person has to take 100 percent of the 50 percent of what went wrong in the relationship.
This saying got me thinking, what does it really mean when someone says, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Growing up you see it as this tragic love story playing out on your TV and in the movies, but when it comes to reality, you can’t help but think what if it really is me and not you?
Confession to time, I have a tendency to attract men that I feel I can help in some way or another. My friends have labeled me the “fixer”. At first it really pissed me off, but now I understand why.
Always wanting to help, I found myself putting myself last. I would lose myself in my partner and when it came my turn to be heard I could never seem to be loud enough. I would fall back in the pattern of allowing my voice not to be heard to lift my partner’s up. This one issue is my biggest down fall in relationships.
As this began to become a pattern in my dating life, I realized that it really was “me not you.” It’s not that I have the tendency to attract men that are needy, but that I am attracted to men that I feel need my help. When good guys would come along, who had it all together, I would run the other way and I couldn’t figure it out till now.
Look, there is nothing wrong with being a nurturer, I will be one till the day I die, but when it comes to love, it’s a two way street. Don’t allow one characteristic to define who you are in love. This post is really about awakening your voice and digging deep so you are heard. Do you feel like you keep “attracting” the same guy and can’t figure out what went wrong?
I am not saying that there is something wrong with you or you are solely to blame for your break up, but I am telling you, you are worthy of love. Find your inner voice and use it, be still, and sit with your thoughts and memories. Ask yourself this, are you attracting the same guy or are you attracted to the same guy? Until you can answer this question you won’t be able to move forward and allow yourself to love and be loved the way you should.
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T: Moderndaygf
This arilcte keeps it real, no doubt.