Some girls are just naturally good at dating. They know exactly when to laugh, what to say, and how to eat a salad like it is an art form. It’s an incredible thing to watch. It’s as impressive as NASA. But for the rest of us not-so-poised human beings, having a flawless first date is actually like rocket science.

The sad and comforting truth is that everyone has disappointing first dates. Not just the movie-quality bad dates, where someone is an hour late or climbs out the bathroom window when the check comes—the kind of first date that ends with an apathetic shrug and the regret of going through all that trouble of shaving your legs.

Typically, this happens when conversations just seem to go nowhere. It’s hard to have fun with someone when you have nothing in common, and it’s hard to find things in common when you have momentarily forgotten how to speak in full sentences (it has happened, friends). If you ever find yourself humming to break that incredibly painful silence—and not the sexual tension-type silence, either—you are not alone. Here are some tips on how to improve your first dates, regardless of whether you are a graceful salad-eating champion or someone a little more prone to a foot-in-the-mouth disorder.

1. Wear something you are comfortable in

As hot as you may look in that bodycon dress and five-inch heels, consider the fact that constantly tugging at a hemline is a total distraction—not to mention that a romantic walk is definitely less romantic when your ankles are bleeding and crying for sweet mercy. (Side note: Limping is not hot.) Wearing something true to your personality will set you at ease and help you act true to your personality, too.

2. Memorize Your list

You are bound to be asked a lot of questions on a date. When under pressure (and trying to give creative and adorable answers) it’s hard to think of a favorite movie, band, city or quote on the spot. To avoid repeatedly answering, “Oooh, that’s a tough one” or “I honestly can’t narrow it down” or “I love all the colors of the rainbow,” pull a Julie Andrews and think of your favorite things in advance. You can laugh at all the notecard-making date geeks (it’s okay, we’re used to it), but a little preparation will provide you with some genuine answers when the time comes.

3. Ask questions that require more than “yes or no”

The way you phrase a question can make all the difference. Instead of just asking for fast facts, like his favorite sandwich or something (clearly I am a goddess at dating), make sure to aim towards questions that will lead to a further discussion. For example, “How did you know you wanted to be a chiropractor?” (Or, in my case, “What is it about a six-inch meatball sub that makes you so happy?”)

4. Say your jokes loud and proud

Instead of mumbling one-liners under your breath, say them with confidence! Even if they are stupid, being a little goofy shows that you are comfortable and will set you both at ease. (And if he doesn’t think you are funny, he is an idiot. You are very funny. You are freaking hilarious.)

5. Stop trying to be like-able

Remember one very important thing: This person already agreed to go out with you. They’re already interested! So when he mentions his favorite band, you don’t have to pretend they are your favorite, too. If he mentions a favorite sports team, it’s okay to admit you don’t even know what sport they play. Be kind and gracious about his interests, but don’t sell your own interests short, either.

6. Laugh when you mean it

Along that same thread: It’s really, really easy on a date to laugh at everything. You’re nervous, you want to make him feel good, and you don’t want to admit you were distracted by his smile and have no clue what he is talking about. (Stocks? Spock? It could be anything.) Try not to laugh senselessly, mistaking faulty listening for genuine amusement. Be engaged in the conversation, and if you don’t catch what he said, let him know.

		
		
			
			
		
	
Writer: Julia Naman 
Featured Photo| Random Chat