About Me January 2020

about me The Modern Day Girlfriend

The other day I was writing a post about a green and clean hair care product that I am a fan of and I wanted to share it here because I was truly amazed by how well it worked and the mission statement of the brand.

I realized as I was writing that blog post that I began to share more of my story than I had previously had and more than I thought I would. I have shared many different blog posts on here from bad breakups to delicious recipes which got me thinking about how I want to share more of my story on here. I am going to do my best to once a month dive deeper and share a full body blog post about myself.

I told myself that I would just sit down and write so whether it is a personal story or a viewpoint that I have I will just write. There may be so grammatical errors or a lot, I am just going to write.   As I actually write this I think who would actually care if I do this but if something that I write at least resonates or helps one person,  I will keep going.

Today, I was thinking about why I first started The Modern Day Girlfriend, in the first place, it actually was a relationship blog. I was always that friend that people came to, to ask for advice about their relationships, dating world, etc. I felt myself telling the same “advice” over and over again and I thought why not put it somewhere where not only my friends can read it but others could “learn” from it as well. My friends loved that idea so I began to write, and write I did. While I was starting The Modern Day Girlfriend, I could feel my actual long term relationship start to crumble. We were SO young when we met and trying to grow as individuals as well as a couple was something we were just not well equipped for, we did not possess the right tools to get through it. Other couples have and will continue to be able to do it but we as individuals need to go through this heartbreak, life lessons, to be who we are today both professionally and personally. Yes, I believe heartbreak transcends every part of who you are.

My ex and I  have been able to remain friends and many people ask me how that is possible, first I have to say is you can’t be friends right away. It doesn’t work. You broke up for a reason you need to live in that for a while and begin to heal. Below is the metaphor I use when it comes to heartbreak.

Again this metaphorically and every relationship is different but I did find this metaphor helpful in my own mind when looking back on previous heartbreak. I have shared this with many and they have told me it has helped them heal.

Heartbreak is like a scar when you first get the wound it hurts like hell.  The pain can radiate so deep it can bring you to your knees. As time goes by the wound will try to heal. You will try to do everything to protect it from opening up again, getting “infected,” etc. There will be times when you will fail at keeping it clean and that’s okay because in time the scar will heal itself whether it is a month, 6 months, a year, 5 years, etc. As time goes on the wound will heal, you will no longer feel the pain BUT every time you see that scar, have that phantom pain, somebody brings it up/ points it out,  you will remember how you got it. You will be left with the scar and every time you look at it ( think about it) you will remember why it’s there but the actual physical pain won’t be there, the gut-wrenching pain won’t be felt.

Each scar makes us stronger, helps tell our story but does not define you.