“ Love is a drug”
I am just going to say it , breaking up sucks! When you start a relationship with someone and you begin to fall in love, you never say to yourself how can I mess this up. No, when you finally think this is the one, you think of all the wonderful possibilities, so when it doesn’t work out it rocks you to your core.
What’s a girl to do? Do you jump into a new relationship? Do you find yourself on your couch in pajamas that you haven’t changed out of in weeks with your two best buddies Ben and Jerry or do you simply just move on and begin to live your life again? Yep I’ve done all three and some that aren’t even listed!
Falling out of love isn’t as easy as falling in love with someone, well at least for most people. Trying to get your head together after a painful break up hurts. You know, that dreaded feeling of getting get out of bed in the morning, trying to open your eyes that have been swollen shut from crying, while your head is pounding, your body aches and that first deep breathe brings back all the memories that go deep into your heart, now that hurts. This is how I want to start my morning?
During one of my break ups, I mean world upside, can’t function, hurts when I breathe, hard time functioning like a “normal person” and in a brain fog. I turned to my girlfriends for support and well meaning as they are, I was not ready to hear or to accept what they were saying to me, “You are going to be okay.” Okay, I NOT okay!!!! Do you not see the pajamas with the Rocky Road stains all over them? I understood their intentions, I also found out on my own that in time my heart would heal and I realized that it was my heart actually breaking. The pain I was feeling was real, it was my brain trying to re-write my new normal.
“The brain coming off love” looks a lot like “the brain coming off drugs”, says Dr. Lisa Bobby, a spokesperson for Exaholics.com, an online support group for people struggling to get over an ex. There also has been studies done that show a part of your brain lights up when you are in love or think of someone you love, the same area in which lights up when you are on a stimulant type of drug.
You can actually feel the physical and emotional pain, ever heard of people not being able to eat when they lose the one they love or on the other hand gain weight? These are just two example, of what can happen but there is actually a clinical term for people who have a harder time breaking up with someone than the next person. They are called an Exaholic, are you one?
Do you ever find yourself on his Instagram page, searching through the liked photos or the comments and stop at every cute girl that left a # or emoji? Do you yearn for that “talk” to get your answers, to get the closure you think you “need” or do you just find yourself closing that chapter and moving on.
If you answered yes to the first two, you might still be “addicted” to your ex. If so , there is help out there. Some of the suggestions that I read about and tried to my apply to my particular situation was avoiding contact with the person. ( I know easier said than done) but time truly does heal. My friends were right and by the way so were you mom!
I was in a relationship was for three years, I really thought this was the way my life was heading so when we split it took me exactly half of the time we were together to adjust to my new reality. Yes, a year and a half, it took me a YEAR AND HALF! You will remember how you felt but you wont feel the pain, (Thank God! ) Don’t worry there is someone else out there for you.( I have been in two other relationships since, now that’s a whole other blog!) So girlfriends, it is okay to hurt, cry or to be on the first name basis with your pizza delivery man. I hate saying this….. I am going to quote my mother right now. She always tells me , ” Experiencing life’s pain and difficulties is a foundation to a stronger character.” When I look back on it, even though I didn’t want to hear it at the time, I appreciated all the advice, love and support I received from my well meaning friends and family.
My advice from one girlfriend to another, take this time to work on you, it’s natural to want to check in or somehow feel connected to the love lost but it won’t help your healing process. Write your emotions down, it is amazing how much lighter your heart feels when you get your emotions out. Don’t check his social media platforms, try not to look at old photos, delete his number from your phone. Not there yet, try and resist t the urge to call him, text or call your girlfriends instead. Surround yourself with friends, work, family anything to keep your mind busy and remember this to shall pass and pizza hut has a great ten for ten deal.
Let’s talk love, tag me or leave a comment below:
T: Moderndaygf
