6 ways to make him #love you
Let’s be realistic. You can’t force someone to fall in love with you. The act of falling in love can be just as tricky as staying in love. That’s why this week, award winning city dating site Lovestuck.com reveals their secrets of how to get that special someone to say those three small words!
#1 Act like you just don’t care
Really? Yep, really. We as humans have evolved in so many ways but when it comes to dating it seems to be that men are still programmed to be the hunters when it comes to looking for their mate. Seemingly this has been the case for a million years. Although frustrating playing the so called ” dating game” is inevitable when it comes to courting a man. Men as hunters like the chase, so don’t really melt at the first whiff of male pheromones. So he’s hot, play it cool. Don’t completely change or give up who you are to please him or his life, you had a life before you met him and you will have one after him regardless if it works out or not.
#2 The show must go on
Don’t cancel previous plans because your new date ahs suggested going out on the same day. Keep your Pilates class or wine-time with your mates. He’s new to your life so don’t let him jump to the top of the pile because he has a killer smile. Trust us, you won’t lose him if he likes you, he’ll just make a mental note to make himself a priority in your life and he’ll kinda love you for retaining your independence.
#3 Listen more than you talk
We’ve all done it on the first few dates. Either got a little excitable and talked too much in an effort to sell ourselves, or said something too deep or inappropriate in order to fill an awkward conversational gap and then watched the tumbleweed roll by. OK, here’s the thing. Take a whole bag o’ ssshhhh. www dot zip it dot com. Most of us, male and female, love someone who will really listen to us as we relay stories of our childhood or life experiences. Mentally gag yourself and resist the temptation to keep jumping in with “I do that! Or ‘I’ve done that!” The quieter you are as you listen intently (and for goodness sake look interested) the more they are likely to open up. Obviously don’t just sit and stare at them, it’s freaky, frankly, but ask questions based on what they’ve told you. He might not know it yet, but he’s revealing little bits of himself to make up the whole puzzle and you’re learning a lot about him in the process. Look out, here comes an emotional connection.
#4 Emotional connection
We have contact. So now you’re connecting on an emotional level rather than just enjoying being in each other’s company and he may be feeling you actually get him. The good news is, you don’t need a Psychology degree to emotionally connect, honest. Remember not all men are as comfortable pouring their hearts out and some may don a protective shell. Don’t try and force him out with a verbal crowbar of questions. Gently encourage his to think further on what he’s just said by putting another take on it. No SAS interrogation techniques, just make him feel his feelings. If it challenges or inspires how he feels about both himself and you, it’s kind of a big deal because it’s a connection he’ll feel you both share and then? He’ll feel he won’t want to be without you long-term.
#5 Great sex won’t do it
Oh how we love those carefree, spontaneous heart thumping, skin tingling moments of lust It’s lovely to feel desired and wanted, there’s no feeling like it. Let’s be honest here. If you are willing to sleep with a guy on the first or second date, it’s highly likely he’s going accept the invitation regardless of if he sees you as long-tern partner material. If you’re sexually compatible, he’ll probably come back for date 2, 3 and maybe even 4. This is all well and good if sex is all you both want but if it’s love you seek, you need to up your mental game because great sex alone won’t keep him. He can get great sex from lots of attractive, chandelier-swinging girls. You need that emotional connection we talked about, focus on getting into his head rather than his boxers, or you’ll be one of many names, stored under ‘s’ in his smart phone, for sex buddy – that’s just while he’s waiting to find the real ‘love of his life.
#6 Don’t over think it
Sometimes, us women over think stuff. We can’t help it; we’re wired up like a computer to have a thousand ‘windows’ in our brain open at any one time. This can be great for work purposes but not for relationships. The reality is that if you open up his brain at the early stages to peek inside, he’ll probably have one window open simply stating ‘he likes you.’ You’ll probably be going over everything from the first date, what you said, what he said, argh why did I say that? But what did he mean by that? He was definitely flirting wasn’t he? Whooaaa, chillax. All you have to be is your very best self when you’re together, listening (that’s right) not saying what you think he wants to hear because you read he likes it on his profile. By being you, you’re saying, ‘Entering my world? This is the real me. I have great friends, family, hobbies…I can be damn funny, vulnerable, bit dizzy at times but come on in. Don’t like it? Here’s the exit. Simple.
We love you already…
xoxo,
Justine of Lovestruck.com
Twitter: @Lovestruck
