15 Ways To Answer Why You’re Still Single

Are you currently single and or had a good chunk of time in your adult life when you just wanted to be alone and ” work on you?” You can’t see me but I raised both my hands, high and I am not mad about it! As I continue to share my journey of living and loving in the digital age here on the modern day girlfriend, I wanted to pepper in a little dating humor that I use to answer those pesky relatives at the holiday table who ask me why I didn’t bring anyone this year?

Instead of explaining why I feel it’s okay that to be single and over 25, I catch them off guard when I answer with my favorite funny go to lines when asked, ” Why are you still single?” They won’t be asking that question again…… Until next year?

Nobody understands me like my dog, a bottle of wine and Netflix does.
I am taking charge of my life because I have no idea who controlled it before.
I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else, organizing my Netflix que is enough for now!
I haven’t showered in three days and I’m not mad about it.
I don’t want to share my food, french fries are not meant to be shared.
I am to busy for a relationship right now, Oliva Pope knows how I feel.
I don’t like online dating, you’re not 6′ 3″ dude like your profile says. My flats make me taller than you & I’m 5’6!
I haven’t shaved my legs in a week and it feels amazing.
I am dating my job and by that I mean I don’t want to date you.
I don’t do emotions, emoji yes, emotions no!
Being texted “sup” at 10pm for a booty call doesn’t signify a relationship.
I want to travel further than my neighborhood bar.
I’m tired of faking orgasms… SERIOUSLY
I have no energy to, wash my hair, brush my teeth, shave my legs, put make up on and put on an outfit to sit across the table from a guy whose curtain tinder picture is him pounding a beer.
I don’t believe in love after my ex facetimed me on the toilet.